I became a widow almost four years ago, and it completely shattered my world. It feels like I’ve lived several lives since then. Different versions of me. Different ways of surviving. Different understandings of what it means to keep living. If you are new to this pain, I am so deeply sorry you’re here. And if you’re willing, here are some rules to live by so you don’t have to figure it out all on your own. 1. Your capacity is allowed to change. Grief reshapes what you can hold. Stop measuring y